First, the feast preparations are underway!

• The turkey, all 21 # of him, are brining happily in the cooler outside. It was so freshly... uh... processed it needed a thorough rinsing, then it's soaked overnight in salty ice water. In the morning, I'll push rosemary under the skin, and stuff it loosely with lemon rinds and onions just for flavour. The stuffing gets baked seperately, which makes it lighter. and the bird cooks faster and more evenly.
• For classic stuffing I use Pepperidge Farm brand and enhance it with sauted onion, celery, turkey stock, butter. Maybe mushrooms. And cracked green peppercorns.
• For a green veggie: Roasted brussel sprouts
• My Irish housemate makes divine mashed potatoes to go with my awesome gravy.
• Houseguest from NC is making baked Delicata squash, low-sugar apple pie and cranberry-apricot sauce.
• We also have pumpkin ice cream to embellish that pie.

And now, for some gratitude.
I am incredibly grateful for my warm and beautiful home, a place people want to be. I am blessed with wonderful friends, nearby and all over (**hugs you!**).  I have wonderful animal companions whom I adore. I am grateful for the time I have had away from work, to recover , to look ahead, to plan and prepare for much-needed change. Many blessings come to me from the amazing passion and creativity of my friends and colleagues. I love all the inspiration, entertainment, amusement, motivation, stimulation and challenge your art, writing, music and healing work brings into my life.I am grateful for my parents and grandparents, (all deceased) from whom I received so many gifts. I treasure the intellect, imagination, talent and passion you gave to me. I love the land I walk on, the food that grows in her, the river that waters us, the trees, flowers, vines, grasses, berries, briars, wild irises, underwater grasses that make this world so soft and green and beautiful. I cherish the animals I love with in these wild woods, the deer, possum, fox, racoons, chipmonks, squirrels, weasels, otters and mice. I am in awe of the birds, from the enormous bald eagles to the tiny hummingbirds, the herons, ducks, geese, cormorants, coots, grebes, grackles, crows, vultures, osprey, seagulls, warblers thrushes and wrens, I love you all. Even the crawly and flying things... for every nasty bloodsucking mosquito there is a Luna moth or swallowtail butterfly, an irridescent beetle, a colorful caterpiller, a dazzling dragonfly. Even the spiders are awesome.

May you all have a day filled with blessings.

Here's a quick summary of good news, for Dark of the Moon:

• My leave-of-absence has been extended until after the new year, and most of that will be with salary!! **happy dance**
• Making progress on my many late projects; Darkfest and Severus_Shorts finally completed!
• Working on a few barter commissions for design work that make me feel useful, and are pleasant work. **feels like hope!**
• Going to the gym almost every day for some kind of (vigorous) workout, and I am sleeping ALOT.
• I love my critters! just sayin'
• I've applied for a job, a wonderful fun close-to-home job that is exciting, but a BIG drop in salary. Will interview in December. **crosses fingers**

Tomorrow: dog to groomers, a pedicure for me, and some art museum time, a belated birthday artist's date.

This past week I felt a real return to functionality.
One of my lost priorities has been the gym, and I am happy to report that I worked out 4 times last week and am now sore, tired and signed up with a trainer for more abuse fun.
And, hmmm, not a coincidence? My libido is back! I hadnt' really noticed it had gone missing, er, as my virtual playmates don't complain when I am distracted, at least, not often. But looking back I can see my interest in teh pr0n has been feeble for a little while here. No doubt many of you shall help me with my recovery. ;-)

I've been so preoccupied with RL, I feel like I've hardly been around my journal(s). I've been reading small fics and keeping an eye on you all, but mostly either running around to the gym or various heathcare appointments, or fretting over my resume, the seemingly endless process.

Today I finally feel like it's DONE!!! Oh, there will still be tweaks, and multiple variations and formats and postings and cover letters and and and, but I finally read it and feel like it's good.

What an amazing feeling, to be suitably impressed with my own career!  After all the effort my miserable (nearly former!) boss devoted to convincing me I'm incompetent, it feels really great to rediscover myself.

It seemed impossible to ever get ready to make this change, and I still can't see how all of it will work out, but it things are lining up, and change.

All week I've been sorting, recycling, filing and pitching. I had a terrible backlog of paperwork,  boxes of unfiled stuff in chaotic heaps, thrown in boxes and piled against the wall. But the wall of shame is no more!

I also rearranged all the art in here, replacing my great-grandfather's portrait* with Severus' HBP poster and hanging lots of water-themed painting. I found treasures I thought were lost, when I got to the final boxes they weren't papers at all, but treasures.

The clear space in here is just amazing! I've always loved this room, but now it's really the Library/Den/Office. I feel so worn out, but pleased with this lovely clear space.

*don't worry, Great-Grandpa is in the studio for cleaning and frame repair. I still love him!

Agh!! My web skills are too poor for most of the jobs I'm seeing.
Fortunately I am a quick study!

Maybe you can help cheer me on... ( Read more... )

• Older dog Seneca survived her minor surgery successfully. Two bumps removed and clean teeth, no extractions. She came home a bit loopy and has stitches, but she is perking up.
• listening to a fun podfic via this podcast, called A Little More Time by Pallas, wherein Teddy rescues his parents and brings them into 2018. Not for the Remus/Tonks averse, but so far I love her Teddy and Tonks characterizations
• reading a fic I like in the rs_games , Common Woodbrown. AU, Remus raises baby Harry. It's a writing style I love, rich with mood and imagery, and it's filling in some of the mysterious years and Sirius' backstory, things I have always found baffling.
• as you may have noticed, I am taking a break from Snarry, post Games. Feel free to recc your favorite non-Snape, non-Harry fics: long, mysterious, angsty and full of magic and UST are love.
• submitted my FMLA paperwork and am on leave for two blissful weeks.
• made appointments for therapy, massage, gyn, MD for checkup. Already have dentist appt.
• made a yummy bean-rice thing:

It seems after many months of feeling trapped at work, I've had two felicitous events that combine to give me two weeks  of leave and some relief from a desperately tight budget. I can hardly believe it, but I am so relieved!!!

Late bills have been caught up, Seneca's (minor) surgery is now affordable, I can invest in some interview clothes. And, I am looking at two weeks wherein under doctor's orders I am to rest, excercise, meditate, see the therapist, and experiment with how well my medication works without the stress of dealing with my hostile boss. Two weeks ago I couldn't imagine this... I felt like a hamster on a wheel. Two weeks from now I expect I shall feel like a different person.

My first mission will be to get my arse to the gym each day. Two weeks with my dogs! Two weeks at home! Cool, quiet, and time to think. ahhhhh.

3, 4 days of rain and the pleasure of damp and grey is getting to me.  I have not made it into the studio today.

but, art is happening in the form of sketches, ideas, and one project has become fic and is writing me. er, I am writing it. I think it shall be several drawings strung together by illustrations. watch hp_darkfest for more!

and, napping, yay!  I read and doze off until book smacks me on nose. Then I snooze more.

and then there is surfing for mere amusement. ah, it feels so good! Tribute vids, ficlets and drabbles, emails and stuff.

In defense of myself, I DID take the dogs out for a real walk in the windy cold rain. They have this curly wool armor, and could care less. In fact, Lily had a blast running through the tall grass after phantom bunnies. I am sure any real bunnies were snug and warm in their burrow.

It is nice weather for ducks... a huge raft of waterfowl that we never see in warm weather has landed in the mouth of Accokeek creek.  Likely it is grebes, canvasbacks and buffleheads.

...has settled into my head for the weekend. Ugh. **sneeze** I guess I need the down-time, and the weather is cooperating: cool and grey. No chance of The Tyranny of Good Weather today!

The TV gods have been supportive: I am watching Brazil, and have forgotten how much I love this movie!! It's dystopian! It's dark yet hilarious! It's critical of our fucked-up work culture! And Tuttle has to be one of my favorite characters ever, the subversive repairman: he who can actually fix things.

Then there is my lovely housemate, who went to fetch me hot n sour soup. And my critters, glad to have someone to curl up with. Who needs get-up-n-go?

I hope your ductwork is all in good working order!

over and out for now
(achoo)

this is the quick and painless version:

I am practising detachment at work. I endeavor to leave my baggage at the door, and use my well developed fantasy skills to pretend I have a new job and I like it.

This has made me calm and productive. AND it has revealed something important about my boss: HE IS AN ANGRY MAN. He looks for things to get and stay mad about. He ignores options to communicate and solve problems, instead choosing to dwell on past infractions, researching whom to blame.

It's kind of scary, how rageful he is. But, interesting. It explains alot.

yes, its a complaining post, I apologize in advance. I feel weary and overloaded, and not adequate to manage everything on my plate. I just want to crawl inside fandom or up with a dog somewhere and hide away from RL, which is full of unpleasant adult face-reality stuff that I am really, really tired of being all Gryffindor about.

and, I am so disappointed with my latest bit of art. too rushed, looks like crap. I had high hopes, and they are dashed. ugh.

Can I haz ice cream? (no, you're full) retail therapy? IMAX? (no, budget!!) Snarry Games?  Snarry!!!!   I can have fic.

OK, so I will stay up too late reading, and feel better, and then worse. lovely. Those muggles at the office better keep out of range of my hexes tomorrow.

I've tried NOT to whine too awful much about work on my journals; this is my happy place, and I have come here for refuge time and again. But I've been mostly miserable at work since returning from France the end of January.
( Long story made short-as-possible )

I feel blessed! I am so grateful for this glimpse of something magical, for this grace.

alas, another hard landing. I came back from my blissful AZ adventure to psycho-boss in full Dr.Jeckyll mode. ( read more )
I'm really tired tonight, and am cheering myself up with a glass of wine, some linguine with fresh tomatoes, and a happy movie, like Brokeback Mountain. *sigh*

I am looking forward to a weekend of dogs and art. And, my Boston trip the following weekend.

I am wallowing in expanded FIOS watching cool movies I've missed like Juno and 300, and cuddling w/ the pets. I am worn out but contented after a good gym date with (cute!) trainer Corey, and a feast at our local Thai place to celebrate friend C's cool new job.

Last weekend carpet_diemon came to visit and we played and played! We made art, ran around with the dogs, went to hear music and see art, ate bbq and strawberries, had fun. Fandom friends are magic! 

Work is a better place these days; Dr.Jeckyl/Mr.Hyde-boss took vacation after Memorial day, and came back kinder, gentler. I am calmer and more focused... having a few weeks on not panicking under my belt makes everything look more do-able. For today, I am employed, I have a roof over my head (good thing, as all it does is rain!), food to eat, and best of all, friends who love me.

Time for sleep. Love to you all.

I am off on retreat this weekend, to restore my ravaged soul  hang out with some old friends in the hot tub. I know I will go thru internets withdrawl, except that I have hardly had time for fandom of late, much to my dismay. You guys have been my escape, my safe place, my refuge for quite a while now. It's a scary world out there, and I am so grateful to have this happy place!

RL has been varying degrees of overwhelming for the past weeks. ( cut to spare you the drama... )

must test the crosspost function from DW again. Trying with IJ. Maybe this will work now...

in other news, I am overloaded with RL but in a better frame of mind, due no doubt to

1. getting back to the gym
2. STAR TREK!!!! **loves**  I cant wait to see it again!
3. going away for creative spiritual retreat with old friends this weekend

IT WORKED!!!

dearest flist:

• Venturous on Dreamwidth. Connect with me if you're there. I suspect I can issue invites now, too. It remains to be seen what I will do with DW... but apparently it is easy to cross post. **needs to learn**

• Some of you have detected that my job is not a happy place. Over the past 3 months, it's become steadily worse. At times, I have lost my cool and cried in these confrontational meetings. I am concluding I need a different boss, and maybe a different company altogether. The harder I try to please these negative people, the more they bite. I think it's time to give up, in the good way, and get busy finding another job. I would value your advice, but treasure your support while I fumble through a scary transition.

• My art life is what is keeping me sane. I recently hung a show of my landscape art, and even sold a peice! First painting sale in some years, and very affirming, even if it was bought by a friend. (you know, to sell expensive paintings, there has to be a STRONG emotional connection. ) it has been a wonderful series of events. Here's a bit of picspam from the show:
  
  ( Read more... )
  There's been plenty of fandom art, too, (I will continue to repost things in the order that they've been revealed.) Although I have been running late on everything. But the art is my refuge, and the place where I am able to be successful in my life. Many other things are NOT going so well, and it's painful, and I am grateful to have the art life be really functional for once, instead of being sacrificed to make other things a priority. **le sigh** must it be this way?
  
  **blows kisses to flist**

go read Dude You've Got Problems in today's NYT online.

Ms. Miller cites the case of an 11 yr-old who committed suicide after repeated homophobic bullying, and goes onto delve into the issues of language, parenting, education and sexism at play.

Read the comments, too. Here's some examples: here and here

My friend P, the sculptor had a bicycle accident, and housemate L happened upon him sprawled in the road! Apparently he wiped out when the fender came loose and caught in the spokes. Then, someone slowed down their car and asked him if he needed help, then sped off! **shakes fist**

Thank goodness L found him and took him to the firehouse, and they sent him by ambulance to the Trauma Center, not very close to home. My mission was to take meds and clothes and dinner up there for his wife G, who needs regular medication for her very serious illness. Plenty of worry to go around.

So he has broken hand, wrist, ribs, and is on concussion watch. They admitted him, and put him in ICU. So, friends were not allowed to see him. G put him on the phone, and although he sounded drugged, he managed a laugh. I scolded him for not wearing his brain protector.

All good wishes and prayers welcome for P and those who are worried about him!